A Bully: The Hidden Demon

 Have you ever got bullied? 

We all know the story of a victim, but what about the Hunter? 

Have you ever thought what goes inside the bully's mind? 

I was in sixth grade when a newcomer entered our session. She was Chubby, curly brown hair and had freckles on her face. She got seated infront of my chair. I along with my group used to throw paper balls on her and make funny noises. Whenever teacher back on us we use to poke her and say "We poke the balloons same way so that it's air comes out, so we are helping you to get thinner". In return she just pass smile. This gesture of her's frustrated me even more.

In my senior section there were other seniors who use to bully other students, while seeing them and being afraid to be bullied by them I used to stay with my group. Being scared of getting bullied by seniors, loosing the "Cool Guy Vibes" and being afraid of loosing the respect, drag me to ventilate my Frustration, and fear by bullying this "Chubby Girl". It was never that I liked bullying her but in order to fit in the stratification of school, and somewhere her smile and calm gesture revealed her strength. 

Not only she was bullied by us but was also bullied by Seniors, still I've never seen her in distress. That hurt my Ego. Somewhere I wanted her to have Mental Breakdown, to Cry and Beg for Mercy, or even Ask us reason for being bullied. But she never said anything all I see was a kind Smile on her freckled face. 

The above paragraph revealed a story with 2 phase:

 1) The Victim

 2) The one who bully. 

I'm more interested on "the one who bully" well every behavior has a Reason. Noting this concept I should focus on an individual's behavior. Every person has 2 energy Yin-Yang, A Good energy and a Bad energy. 

The gigantic mystical creatures always live in the darkest caves hiding from the outer world. Just like that let's dive in the mind of the one who bully's and know what exactly is hiding in their darkest caves. 

I BULLY……OR DO I?

Data from the USA show us that about 21% of students ages 12-18 experienced bullying (2014–2015 School Crime Supplement ;  National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice Statistics) and 20% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property (2015 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System;  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
We are definitely seeing, in our schools especially, “that gratuitous references to “bullying” are creating a bit of a “little boy who cried wolf” phenomena. In other words, if kids and parents improperly classify rudeness and mean behavior as bullying — whether to simply make conversation or to bring attention to their short-term discomfort — we all run the risk of becoming so sick and tired of hearing the word that this actual life altering (and sometimes as far as deadly) issue among young people loses its urgency as quickly as it rose to prominence. It is important to distinguish between rude, mean and bullying so that teachers, school administrators, police, youth workers, parents and kids all know what to pay attention to and when to intervene. As we have heard too often in the news, a child’s future may depend on an adult’s ability to discern between rudeness at the bus stop and life-altering bullying (Signe Whitson).”

What is Not Bullying? 

1) Teasing: Teasing your close friend or the   one who is comfortable with you and vice versa.

2) Being Mean(unintentional or unintentional ): In many sectors unintentionally We around people turn to be mean in our behavior and say something hurtful. 

3) Conflict: Many at times people indulge in  disputes within themselves related to imbalance in thought and perception. 

4) Rude(unintentional): Unintentionally       due to some personal issues or without even realizing  we tend to be Rude to some people. 

Types of Bullying : 

1) Verbal- Calling names, threats, taunting, passing racist remarks. 

2) Physical- Beating, pinching, spitting, destroying someone's property. 

3) Social- Spreading rumors, rude gesturing, social humiliating, passing nasty comments, eve-teasing. 

4) Cyber- Editing the photos and posting in adult sections of internet, hacking, sending nude pictures, without permission posting someone's video or photos on social sites, commenting mean and threating comments, mean texts, prank calls. 

Let's dive-in the Minds of the One who Bullys!! 

When a Survey was made where a psychologist got to interview the teenage kids who were involved in bullying collected some good information. The Child's psychologist differentiated the bullys in 2 groups:

1) Pure bully: These are the people who drive "Pleasure" in suppressing someone recessive than them. 

# They act on their instinct, they are more likely to use their instinct drive inorder to satisfy their need of pleasure. 

# These student doesn't want to get Name or Fame they doesn't want to be the most famous student in school because the Students who are very famous in school has to maintain an image of "Perfection" where they have to be good in studies, sports, be generous and kind. But these students (Bully) doesn't have such intentions. Rather they love to hurt people and doesn't care what other's think of them. 

# Pure-bullys are likely to develop an Antisocial Personality as they violate every norms a society puts on them.

# While taking Pure-bullys interview show no form of remorse or guilt when they knew about the consequences they leave on a victim's mind. Throughout the interview it's potrayed that they just act on their "Instinct drive".

# They have a repetitive behavior i.e continously bullying someone even if they have got in trouble or had been involved in some legal issues. 

2) Hybrid- Bully: " Evil is instigated not Created" well I also agree with this statement given by Former Miss World  Priyanka Chopra.

# While interviewing these Hybrid bullys, psychologist got to know that there was a Reason for them becoming a Bully. Either to fit in a "food-chain" where if they don't hunt sooner or later they'll become the Prey. Either driven by their fears, insecurities or to fit in that social norms they were driven to harass or bully someone so that they can "Fit-in".

# Some Hybrid-Bullys have disputes in their family, divorced parents, abusive parents, or parents who set a very high esteem for a child to accomplish which drag them to frustration and anger for being so weak and pathetic. To hide their laggings they project their emotions by bullying or suppressing the one who is recessive to them. 

# Some  already had an history of being bullied in their young age, as soon as they enter their puberty an urge to suppress the one who bullied them get into an action and pushes them to take their Revenge by bullying the ones who once bullied them. 

Show them the Light!  Give them Hope!  

Such children whether Pure-Bullys or Hybrid one needs a Hope in life. As now we have spotted the darkness it's our duty to show them the way towards the light. 

1) Be with them. 

2) Provide constant support and Encouragement. 

3) If they are involved in any kind of drug use drag them out from it. 

4) Encourage their parents to be their firm supporter irrespective of their internal conflicts. 

5) If they are having abusive parents then inform the local police to investigate and sent the child to other relative's house.  

6) There are many helpline centres in India for counseling and getting help regarding abusive family. Do seek Help! 

Conclusion: 

1)Through the story and context we got to know about the Bullys, types of bullys and ways of bullying. 

2) Got Enlightened in their darkest caves of their mind which was hidden. 

3) Ways to help the child who Bullys.