Does Parents affect their Child's Personality??

                    

Fatehabad, Agra 

Year 1992....

In the Agra there's a village named Fatehabad lived a small rural family in which twins were born through normal delivery. The first one who was 2 minutes older was named Shivam and the younger one was named Shivaan. As time proceeded the twins were identical but were way different from each other.

Shivam was an outgoing chill person who make friends easily, he oftently jokes around and was a kind of Social butterfly, whereas on the other hand,

Shivaan was a quiet loner person. He spends his maximum time in reading and learning factual things. He had some but very close friends to whom he shares his feelings. Shivaan was more of Descriptive type person which dwells him spending more time in interospection, philosophical yet logical thinking and living more considerate towards inner feelings than outer. 

As time flies by, the twins went to college. Shivam went on living in hostel, he manged both his stidies as well as his outings. When on holiday he oftently plans for trip and experience different aspects of life and journey.

Shivaan on the other hand preferred to live in a rented single room and in holidays he spent most of his time in writing journals, personal diaries, spending time with himself and read his favorite books. 

Through this story, what we observe?

What this story is trying to convey?

Introduction

Personality: "Personality is a sum                            or combination of Characters,Behavior,Temperamet,Emotion and Mental Traits that are unique to each specific individual."

Why knowing about Personality is important?? 

Well as you read in above story, you got to know about Twin Brothers. How their traits were different, How they deal with environment, How being identical twins still they had different choices and hobbies. In order to study or know people more effectively it's important to know about Personality. 

How Personalities are affected??

There are different Theories imposed for Personality: 

Psychoanalytical Theory

Sigmund Freud (1961), "Father of Psychiatry" is credited as the first to identify Development by Stages. He focused on first 5 year of Child's life to be most important,because he believed that an individual's Basic Character had been formed. 

Freud's Psychoanalytical Theory can be conceptualized according to: 

• Structure
•  Dynamic 
• Topography of the Mind 
• Stages of Personality Development 

 

Structure of Personality-

 

Freud organized the structure of personality into three major components:

Id: Id focuses on "Instinctual Drives"                also called the "Pleasure Principle". As like in infancy stage infants seek for immediate pleasure in order to satisfy himself. Example: When a child is hungry,he cries aloud inorder to be fed. Same happens to people who are more drawn towards their "Pleasure-Seeking Principle" or Id, they are prone to get immediate satisfaction from their Craving which leads them to act unethically. Example: If a person name B finds a wallet he will immediately keep the money without even thinking about the person who lost it or is it ethically correct to follow such act. 

Ego: The Ego is called the "Rational self"              or the "Reality Principle" begins to develop between the age of 4 and 6 months. The ego works on connecting to real external world and helps the individual to adapt and respond to it. The Ego principle usually "Substitute" the Id principle that means the "Rational principle" Overpowers the "Pleasure principle.  ** Primary function of the Ego Principle is to act as a Mediator between the Pleasure Principle (Id)  and Perfection Principle (Superego). Example: If a person B finds a wallet he will think rationally about it that He already have money and he would be concern about the person who lost his wallet. He will search for the ID Card or will submit it to the police station so that the person can find his lost wallet. 

Superego: The Superego is called the "Perfection Principle" which develops between ages 3 and 6 years. Superego is usually derived from experiences in early childhood days which helps an individual set a principle for himself and follow the rules which are set by others for him. Example: If a person B will find a wallet his instinct will sudden tell that it won't be right to take some things that doesn't belong to him.   

           Superego is formed from 2  major.                             components :

1. Ego-ideal: When a child is consistently rewarded for "Good behavior" which boost child's self esteem. Due to continue reward on good behavior the behavior becomes self-care esteem is enhanced, and the behavior internalizes as his or her value system. 

     2. Conscious: The conscious is.                          developed when the child is punished          consistently for "Bad behavior".                    Through the "Negative.                                     Reinforcement" child learns about.             morality which he learns from                      Parental figure and from Society and

     culture. 

                    

                          Topography of                       Personality-

Freud divided the mind into 3 Parts:

The above diagram protrays the Topography of mind, it includes:

• The Conscious Mind: It includes all memories that remain within an individual's awareness. Example: Telephone numbers, birthday of self and other close ones, anniversaries etc. 

• The Preconscious Mind: It includes the memory that may have been forgotten but can be readily recalled into consciousness.         Example: Life events that may have occurred at sometime in the past.        ** The Preconscious enhances awareness by helping to suppress unpleasant memories from consciousness.

• The Unconscious Mind: It is the largest of three Topographical levels. Unconscious mind consist of unpleasant experiences that are deeply suppressed and can be only be retrieved through therapy, Hynosis and with certain substances that can alter the consciousness. Unconscious Mind can also display the suppress memory inform of Dreams. 

Dynamics of Personality-

Freud believed that "Psychic energy" is the force required for mental functioning. Psychic energy is distributed between three components: Id, Ego and Superego where Ego plays the largest share to maintain a balance between the impulsive behavior (Id) and ideal behavior (Superego). If an excessive amount of Psychic energy is stored in one of these personality when excessive psychic energy is stored in the Id. For example: Impulsive Behavior prevails when excessive psychic energy is sored in the Id. Over-investment in the ego leads to Self-absorbed or narcissistic behavior. An excess within the Superego result in rigid.

  

Freud used 2 terms for elaborating dynamics of mind: 

1. Cathexis: Cathexis is a process which focuses on "Id" through which a person invest his energy into an object in an attempt to achieve Gratification.
2. Anticathexis: Anticathexis is a process in which a person uses psychic energy by the ego and superego to control Id impulses. 

Example: An alcoholic patient when faces                     any problem, if he instinctively turns to alcohol to relieve stress,he is working by his Id instincts. On the other hand if he'll be thinking rationally about disadvantages regarding alcohol intake and will prefer to either talk to someone or Alcohol Anonymous Counselor than he'll be working by his ego and superego instincts.

Freud's Psychosexual Development-

Freud emphasized on the First 5 year of life and believed that characteristics developed during the early years bore heavily on one's adaptation pattern and personality trait in adulthood.

We all have heard about Freud's psychosexual developmental theory but How does it affect the personality??? 

Have you ever thought how Childhood affect Personality??

According to Sigmund Freud, Psychosexual development has 5 Stages:

1. Oral Stage (Birth to 18 months) : During Oral Stage, behavior is directed by Id and the focus of energy is the Mouth with behavior that include Sucking, Chewing and Biting. Oral stimulation could lead to an oral fixation in later life. Oral person engage in Smoking, Nail-Bitting, Finger chewer, Thumb sucking when face stressors in life.   

    

2. Anal Stage (18 Months to 3 Years): The major task in the Anal Stage is gaining Independance and Control with particular focus on the "Excretory Function".                               Early or Harsh Toilet training can lead the child to become an "Anal-Retentive" Personality who hates *Mess ,*Is obsessively tidy, *Punctual and *Rspectful of Authority. They can be stubborn and tight-fisted with their cash and possessions.                                                  "Anal-Expulsive" Personality are those who had underwent a liberal toilet-training.They like giving things away. They believe in "Sharing is Caring".     

                                                    
3.  Phallic Stage (3-6 years) : The child focus of energy shifts to Genital area. The child become aware of Anatomical Sex Difference, which sets in motion the conflict between Erotic Attraction resentment, Rivalry, Jealousy and Fear.                                                                                               Freud proposed the development into 2 phases:                                               

• Oedipus Complex(in boys) : Freud described a male child's unconscious desire to eliminate his Father and want to possess his mother exclusively. The most important aspect of the phallic stage is the Oedipus complex.  This is one of Freud's most controversial ideas and one that many people reject outright.

The name of the Oedipus complex derives from the Greek myth where Oedipus, a young man, kills his father and marries his mother. Upon discovering this, he pokes his eyes out and becomes blind.  This Oedipal is the generic (i.e., general) term for both Oedipus and Electra complexes.
In the young boy, the Oedipus complex or more correctly, conflict, arises because the boy develops sexual (pleasurable) desires for his mother.  He wants to possess his mother exclusively and get rid of his father to enable him to do so.
Irrationally, the boy thinks that if his father were to find out about all this, his father would take away what he loves the most.  During the phallic stage what the boy loves most is his penis.  Hence the boy develops castration anxiety. Castration Anxiety is an overwhelming fear of damage to loss of Penis. Irrationally the boy would think that if the father would know about his thought he(Father) would tske away what He loves the most, During the Phallic stage Boy loves his Penis.
The little boy then sets out to resolve this problem by imitating, copying and joining in masculine dad-type behaviors.  This is called identification, and is how the three-to-five year old boy resolves his Oedipus complex.
Identification means internally adopting the values, attitudes, and behaviors of another person.  The consequence of this is that the boy takes on the male gender role, and adopts an ego ideal and values that become the superego.
Freud (1909) offered the Little Hans case study as evidence of the Oedipus complex.                                       

• Electra Complex (in girls) : The Girl desires Father, but realizes that she doesn't have a Penis. This lead to development of Penis Envy and wishes to be a boy. As the girl grows she represses her desire for her father and substituting the wish for her being a boy. The girl represses her feeling and identity with the mother to take on legendary role

                                                                              
4. Latency Stage(6-12 years) : The focus of energy changes from sexual impulses to more interest in Group activities, Learning, and Socializing with peers. Sexuality is not absent but remain obscene imperceptible to others. This preference is for Same gender relationship,even rejecting members of the opposite Gender.  

       
5. Gential Stage(13-20 years) : In the Genital Stage, the Maturing of the Genital organs results in a reawakening of the libidinal drive. The focus is on relationship with members of the opposite gender and preparation for selecting a Mate.      

    Sullivan's stages of Personality Development:

This stage resembles like Freud's Psychosexual developmental theory. 

Erickson's Stage of Development 

Trust versus Mistrust: Birth to 18 Months

Major Developmental task is to develop a  Basic Trust in the Mothering Figure  and learn to generalize it to others. 

• When the Basic needs are met in infants, it results in Self-confidence, Optimism, faith in the gratification of needs abd desires,  and hope for the Future.
• If unmet it results in emotional disatisfaction with self and others, Suspiciousness and difficulty with interpersonal relationships. 

Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt: 18 Months to 3 Years

Major developmental task is to gain Self-control and Independence  within the environment. 

• Autonomy is achieved when parents encourage and provide opportunities for independent activities which leads to boost self-confidence in child's ability to perform, create a sense of self-control and develops the ability to delay gratification. 

• On the other hand when Parents restrict child's independent behavior either physically and verbally, or set unrealistic behavior which a child fails to achieve leads to Lack of Self-confidence and pride in the ability to perform, develops a sense of being controlled by others, and a rage against self for the failures he/she face. 

Initiative versus Guilt: 3-6 Years

Major developmental task is to develop a sense of Purpose, ability to intiate and direct one's own activities.

• When parents appreciate child's creativity, his performance is recognized and positively reinforced Initiation  is developed. While his initiation is appreciated by his parents child enjoys learning and also attain personal achievement. The conscious develops thereby controlling the impulsive behavior of thd Id.

• When parents continously expect a higher level of achievement than the child produces, child develops feeling of inadequacy and a sense of defeat. When child fails to achieve his/her parent's expectations guilt is formed to an excessive degree. The child may view himself or herself as evil and thinks that he/she deserves Punishment. 

Industry versus Inferiority: 6-12 Years

Major developmental task is to achieve a sense of self-confidence by learning,competition,performing successfully, and receiving from significant others, peer and acquaintances.

• Industry is achieved when encouragement is given to activities and responsibilities in the school and community, as well as those within the home, and recognition for accomplishments. Child masters reliable work habits and develops attitude of trustworthiness. He or She is Conscientious, feels pride in achievement and enjoys play but desires a balance between Fantasy and "Real World Activities".

• When parents set unrealistic expectations for the child, when discipline is Harsh and tends to impair self-esteem, and accomplishments are consistently met with negative feedback, results in difficulty in interpersonal relationships because of feeling of personal inadequacy. The individual can neither cooperate with others in group activities nor can solve problems or complete task successfully. Child can either become Passive  or Over aggressive  to cover up their feeling of inadequacy. 

Identity versus Role confusion : 12-20 Years

Major developmental task is to integrate the tasks mastered in tge previous stages into a secure sense of self. 

• Parents should be available to offer support when needed but should gradually relinquish control to the maturing individual in an effort to encourage the development of an independent sense of self. Achievement of task result in sense of confidence, emotional stability and a view of the self as a unique individual. Commitments are made to a value system, to the choice of a career and to relationships with members of both genders. 

• When Independance is discouraged by parents and the adolescent is brought up in the dependent position. 

1. When discipline within the home has been overly harsh, inconsistent or absent. 
2. When there has been a parental rejection or frequent shifting of parental figures. 

The above criteria lead to a sense of self-consciousness,doubt and confusion about adolscent's role in life. Personal values are goals are absent. Long-term commitments to relationship with others are nonexistent. The behavior is oftently expressed as delinquent and rebellious nature. 

Intimacy versus Isolation: 20-30 Years

• Intimacy is achieved when an individual has developed the capacity for giving oneslf to others. It is far beyond the Sexual contact  between two people. It describes a commitment in which personal sacrifices are made for other whether it be career, or any other choice. Intimacy is learned within the family unit. 

• When the family is distorted and love  and warmth is absent,child develops social isolation, becomes a loner and is usually  socially withdrawn. He or She may also have frequent job changes and there's no stability in personal as well as social life. 

Generativity versus stagnation or Self-absorbed : 30-65 Years

• The individual is active in the service of and to society. Generativity is achieved when the individual expresses Satisfaction within this stage in life and demonstrates responsibility for leaving the World a better place to Live .

• On the contrary side, person becomes withdrawn, isolated and highly self-indulgence with no capacity for giving of the self to others. 

Ego Integrity Versus Despair: 65 Years to Death

• Individual derives a sense of dignity from his or her life experiences and doesn't fear Death, rather consider it as a next stage. Ego Integrity is achieved when individuals have successfully completed the developmental task of the other stages and have a little desire to make major changes in how their lives have progressed. 

• Nonachievement results in a sense of self-attempt snd disgust with how their life has progressed. The individual would like to start over and wish to have a second chance. Anger, depression and loneliness are evident. 

Conclusion 

In the end My message to Every parent reading this article is to stop "harassing" your Own child. Harassment not only is done by verbal or physical abuse it's also done by depriving the child from warmth, love, care and aprreciation. Your little negligence can damage their whole Life. Be little careful. 

It's easy to give birth but it's difficult to grow a child. 

On the other hand if you're a Supportive parents then please continue your guidance cause you Child needs you. And also if you notice any other deviation whether in your group or family member then please guide them and tell them it's bad effect.